Dear Family

Although I cared for you and gave you my all,

I loved you and you made me feel so small.

Every time I would try to be a part of this family

To partake of the things that you would all do.

I found that I wasn't included and you lied to Mom about me too.

Sometimes in life I found

that you have to let go of those who put a frown

Who deceive and assume that you are of no good

They judge and they look down

and on my face they put a permanent frown.



You justify your actions you call it tough love

If this is love then I will give love a big shove.

I don't need a family who can put me on the streets

Who can abandon their own

and say its all I can do.

you have to learn to make do

I didn't have a job, or a way to pay my way

You stole my daughters heart and took it right away.

She didn't deserve to be with out a home,

with out me.

She didn't do any harm to you, she just didn't understand why you would do what you do.

She was now with out a secure home, a place where she once felt safe was taken and gone.

Mother you ran away from your troubles instead of standing up and loving us then,

You let My brother and sisters destroy our lives,

You took away our smile, our home our life.

The only home we ever really had, was now a place that we are not welcome and it makes us so sad.

A brother living alone in a 4 bedroom house didn't have enough room for love, that he couldn't give, instead he took away a place for us to live.
He couldn't give us a chance to get on our own two feet and there was no way that his heart would retreat.

Instead, we were put out on the street.
He evicted me from a home that I have only known for the last 7 years, taking care of my mother and the yard to help her out of the love I held so dear.
But soon, it all came to a terrible end.
The state then stepped in and took my daughter again.

She had to go away because there was no place for her to stay

You made sure that you took that away.

If this is love, then set me free

because in my book that is not love from a family.

and Mother how could you believe all the lies that they told ?
You didn't even ask me if they were true, you simply believed them with a heart that turned so cold.

You were persuaded into thinking that I was a thief, meanwhile they took more then what you gave to me, they took my right to be a part of this family.

You were told that I sold everything that you had given me, all because I sold the dresser that You gave to me, even though I had asked you before I sold it, you of course don't remember, making it okay that they take everything else away.


Only thing is, You were so wrong for believing them, I never sold anything more and yet I got nothing for everything I did for you..
Mom,Who took care of you for those last 7 years? Was it them? or me?
who took care of those things that you were in need.
I did,
but I got nothing from you in the end but heart ache and sadness and disappointments.
and of this of course there is no comment.

I don't care anymore that I was not given any family heirlooms or things that were personal to you or our family.
I don't care anymore that Kelly had to keep my bedroom set or my organ or the bottles and Christmas decorations.

It just don't matter, because if that is all I meant to you. then I don't want them.
If you think that I am such a bad seed,
then where is the need?
To be a part of this family.

Kelly told me not so long ago, that I was not like the rest of you.
Thank God,
because if this is how you treat someone who cared for you, who loved you so dearly and tried to do the right things for all of us,
then I'm glad I'm not like any of you.
I'm not greedy or above the rest.
I am just me.




And Material objects don't mean a thing, compared to being a person who only wanted to be special also in this family.
but I know now that I have been cast out. I'm not good enough for you all that's no doubt.

And the one thing that would of meant the most is something that you could not give
to be loved equally in this family.

So because you can't do this,

I know what I have to do, even though you I will miss.

I have to let you all go and leave it all behind

I have to survive somehow with out you or knowing how your doing.

the same goes for me

you won't have to worry about being bothered again by me.

Don't send presents come Christmas time,

I don't want them and neither does the daughter of mine.

Tough love, equals a good bye

from me to you

I want nor more to do with any of you.

My family died

the day they took away my life, my smile. my right to be treated equally in this family.

Take care,
and know that the only thing I did wrong was wanting to be loved unconditionally.

With much sadness and despair.
Colleen